No matter what you’ve heard, you don’t love anything with all of yourheart.
The result is a strong, familiar drive for reproduction.
The Romance System
This is the culprit behind many an all-night poetry fit.
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This is the reason lovers fight armies, swim oceans, or walk hundreds of miles to be together.
In a word, they’re high.
These regions are flooded with the neurotransmitter dopamine, a chemical that drives us toward a perceived reward.
A neurotransmitter called serotonin is low in early romantic love.
Serotonin can also be low in obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, and anxiety.
The Affection System
This is why some people stick together when the dopaminergic thrill is gone.
In animals, the responsible chemicals are oxytocin and vasopressin.
Interestingly, these calming chemicals are secreted by the same hypothalamus that fuels our lust.
Some may see the above systems as a kind of progression in a relationship.
For example, oxytocin and vasopressin are connected with the dopamine reward system as well.
Heartache or Headache?
Sometimes they evolve into something that lasts forever, and usually, they don’t.
And sadly, it’s not uncommon that “the one” becomes an ex-spouse.
While this might be reading too much into the study, uncertainty is certainly common after a break-up.
However, this theory is probably simplistic, as it fails to account for a number of other factors.
For example, in species where nurturing a newborn requires parental cooperation, monogamy becomes more common.
The “four-year” theory is somewhat flexible.
It’s also important to remember just how complicated the topic of human affection is.
Our culture, our upbringing, and the rest of lives help to change those chemicals and networks.
(5): 314-9. doi: 10.1023/A:1019888024255
