It can be hard to know what to say when someone is diagnosed with cancer.
Centering your approach around acknowledging their diagnosis, expressing empathy, and offering support can help guide you.
This article explains what to say to someone who has cancer.
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It provides sample phrases and concrete ways to support a friend or loved one with a recent diagnosis.
It also offers tips on things not to say.
Dont know what to say?
If the person gets angry, let them vent.
Just respond with empathy and let them do the talking.
Don’t get too caught up in that.
venture to have a natural conversation and speak from the heart.
And your approach will undoubtedly change over time.
Maybe they just got the news, or maybe their care team has outlined the treatment path ahead.
Read their body language.
Then, respond accordingly.
They might show a number of different emotionssadness, anger, guilt, fear, ambivalence, avoidance.
Sometimes they may show all of them at once or change from moment to moment.
What if your loved one starts to cry?
What if they ask you something you dont know the answer to?
What if they get mad at you?
What if you make them feel worse?
The truth is, cancer is the elephant in the room.
Tonotacknowledge can be almost more hurtful than anything you may say.
What’s important is that you recognize their diagnosis and show them that you’re trying.
ensure your conversation is focused on the patient, notyourissues.
That is unless the person explicitly asks to talk about things in your life.
Sometimes another person’s story is a good distraction.
Just take a stab at keep things light and entertaining.
Even the most minor task can be more appreciated than you know.
2010;15(1):153-6.
American Cancer Society.When someone you know has cancer.
Updated April 29, 2016.
