When and how to show your sympathy in a letter
A condolence letter is a note expressing your sympathy.
It can be a great source of comfort for someonegrieving the loss of a loved one.
Finding the right words to say whensomeone’s mourning a deathcan be hard.
Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin
A condolence letter shows a person who is mourning that they matter to you.
Taking the time to handwrite a letter can comfort someone who has lost a loved one.
you could also take this time to offer to talk or help in the weeks and months ahead.
Condolence Letter vs.
Sympathy Note
The difference between a condolence letter and a sympathy note is the length.
For example, a note might be a few sentences, while letters could be a few paragraphs.
It’s your choice which you choose to write and depends on your relationship with the person.
Offer Support
Too often, people say, “Call me if you need me.”
Instead, be specific about how you’re free to lend a hand.
For example, you might write, “Can I bring dinner over next Wednesday?”
or “I’d love to mow your lawn next week.”
Then, it’s possible for you to make contact again.
You also need to be honest about and respect what your relationship was like.
If it was complicated or negative, a condolence letter could feel intrusive.
In fact, it actually made theirdepressionsymptoms worse.
Condolence Letter Guidelines
Deciding to write a letter is often easier than actually writing it.
Here are some tips on when, where, and how to write and send a condolence letter.
If you’ve passed that time, still write a note.
you might do a few practice runs until it feels right.
There is often a basket or collection box for sympathy cards at the service.
you might mail your note, but remember that many tasks have to be donefollowing a death.
Therefore, a deceased persons loved one may not open your note right away.
A Sample Condolence Letter
Heres a sample condolence letter to help you organize your thoughts.
You do not need to follow the template exactly.
You may only want to use parts of it.
you’re able to reorganize, add, or delete sections as you write your letter.
It can be just as meaningful and is often a nice touch to include inside a sympathy card.
When writing a condolence note, pick just a few elements from the steps to writing a condolence letter.
However, think about your relationship with the person who has died and their loved ones.
In some cases, it might be better to just write a shorter sympathy note.
Dont feel pressured to get too fancy.
Heartfelt words and specific offers of help will be welcomed by people who are grieving.
you could use a few or none of the components shown above in your sympathy letter.
The most important thing is that you write from your heart.
2017;43(4):473-484. doi:10.1007/s00134-016-4669-9
St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.How to write a condolence letter.
