Attachment stylesidentify how a person relates to other people.
The two main types of attachmentsecure and insecuredevelop in childhood and carry on throughout adulthood.
An insecure attachment style can mean difficulties with trusting others and maintaining relationships.
Witthaya Prasongsin / Getty Images
Witthaya Prasongsin / Getty Images
What Is Insecure Attachment?
Insecure attachment is a relational pattern that causes a person to feel insecure about their relationships with other people.
When they have an insecure attachment style, a person may have trouble developing meaningful adult relationships with others.
Each category defines a group of behavioral patterns that play a role in how a person connects with others.
Avoidant
Avoidant attachment describes a person that has trouble tolerating emotional intimacy or closeness with other people.
They may not actively seek out intimate connections with others.
As such, a person with anxious-avoidant attachments desire for connection is inconsistent with their behavioral patterns.
They also have fears surrounding their relationships and worry about rejection from their partners.
In their worry, they can become anxious, needy, manipulative, or dismissive toward loved ones.
Ultimately, these behaviors can lead to the breakups that the person with this attachment style fears.
A person with a disorganized attachment may act in confusing and erratic ways in their relationships.
For example, a partner with an insecure attachment could benefit fromtherapy.
Showing your secure attachment to them while they do this important work will help them feel safer.
What Causes Insecure Attachment?
Childhood experiences shape all types of attachment, and each punch in will be shaped by different experiences.
This could include times when they were scared, sick, or hurt.
They do not understand why they get love on some occasions but not others.
This leads to the constant swing between wanting love and fearing for safety.
Secure attachment develops when a childs emotional needs are consistently met and that leads to healthy relationships in adulthood.
Ambivalent attachment can look like:
A disorganized attachment style will present differently depending on age.
You will need to be self-aware and honest with yourself about how your behavior affects your relationships with others.
Different types of psychotherapy can help people with their attachment styles.
Couples or group therapy is also helpful for some people, depending on their needs and therapy goals.
Summary
Insecure attachment stems from negative experiences during childhood.
Insecure attachments can be avoidant, ambivalent, or disorganized.
Everyone is capable of positive change.
Dealing with a partner with an insecure attachment style can be difficult.
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APA Dictionary of Psychology.Ambivalent attachment.
APA Dictionary of Psychology.Disorganized attachment.
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