Understanding Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant, and Disordered Attachments
Adults can express different attachment styles in close relationships.
These general categories can help people understand their relationship dynamics.
This article will review how attachments form when a person is young and how they affect adult relationships.
Jessica Olah / Verywell
It will then discuss each of the four attachment styles.
The article will also address how to identify and change your attachment style.
Attachment styles describe the quality and characteristics of a person’s attachments.
Over time, the infant learns how their caregiver responds to these needs.
Importantly, the theory observes overall patterns, not individual instances.
For example, is the caregiver typically nearby, accessible, and attentive?
If the answer is yes, the child may form a secure attachment.
If the answer is no, the child will form aninsecure attachment.
Caregivers Can’t Be Perfect
Attachment styles are formed through many interactions and overall patterns.
Nearly every caregiver will occasionally become frustrated, yell, or appear inattentive at some point.
They continue to be used in close adult relationships, including with romantic partners and friends.
This doesn’t mean people who formed early insecure attachments will always repeat the pattern.
Identifying the attachment styles of all partners is a crucial step in maintaining a healthy relationship.
They may want their partners to help them reinterpret a stressful event more positively.
They feel cared for by others and feel close to people with whom they have intimate relationships.
Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment
Anxious/ambivalent attachment(sometimes called ambivalent or preoccupied) is considered insecure attachment.
Highly anxious individuals may:
These behaviors are more likely to occur when the anxious individual is feeling distressed.
The coping strategies can be overwhelming for partners, and the anxious individual may be viewed as clingy.
Fearful-Avoidant/Disordered Attachment
Fearful (sometimes called fearful-avoidant or disordered) attachment is the third insecure attachment style.
Fearful individuals experience both anxiety and avoidance.
Identify Your Attachment
Acknowledging your attachment style is essential if you wish to make a change.
Psychotherapy
Two types of psychotherapy (talk therapy) can help change your attachment style.
These attachments persist into adulthood, but it is possible for a person to change them.
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