BPD also makes communication and relationships challenging.
They’ll be calmer and more rational, and the discussion will be more productive.
An invalidating environment is a major trigger for people with BPD.
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You don’t necessarily have to agree with the person.
Validation simply means you’re listening and acknowledging the person’s feelings.
Research has found that validation helps improve long-term therapeutic outcomes for people with BPD.
Your loved one with BPD still has other interests, and their life is larger than the diagnosis.
Make the space to explore their interests and plan activities together.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for your self-care.
Be clear about what your limits are and what the consequences will be if they’re ignored.
Clear boundaries can provide structure and predictability, helping reduce the fear of abandonment and rejection.
By consistently reinforcing your boundaries, you might help improve your relationship with your loved one, too.
Most psychotherapy occurs with a licensed, trained mental health professional in one-on-one sessions or group controls.
Psychotherapy(sometimes called talk therapy) is the main treatment for people with BPD.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)is the most common treatment for BPD and is highly effective.
It teaches mindfulness and skills to help people manage intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships.
Should they threaten self-harm or suicide, dial 988 to be connected to theSuicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Change Their Focus
Using distraction can sometimes be a useful strategy when the persons emotions are intensifying.
Another strategy is to start an activity yourself and encourage them to join you when they feel ready.
It’s also important to avoid escalating the situation.
Acknowledge their feelings, but avoid arguing or confrontations.
Instead, attempt to de-escalate by remaining calm, patient, and composed.
Offer Constructive Criticism
Constructive criticism involves providing feedback that is meant to help someone improve.
It offers specific, actionable suggestions in a kind, caring manner with good intentions.
Offering feedback when the person is not having an episode is more likely to be effective.
Treatment can be effective in managing the symptoms of BPD, but it takes time.
Summary
Being in a relationship with someone with BPD can be challenging.
However many communication strategies can help.
People living with BPD can be very intense; that’s the disorder manifesting itself.
Professional treatment for themand outside support for youis a smart approach.
National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.
2015 Aug;29(4):486-502. doi: 10.1521/pedi.2015.29.4.486
Crisis Prevention Institute.7 tips for empathic listening.
